Time = Death

Time is a funny thing, especially when it comes to death. When someone dies, we mourn for a certain amount of time depending on our relationship with the person. In our celebrity obsessed society, we watch the tragic deaths of some of our most beloved artists all too often. When it happens its headline news and we’re all in shock and awe. But once the headlines die down and the fanfare disappears, the loved ones of our beloved artist are left with an empty void for the loss of that person. At the end of the day that “celebrity” is a person. That person was still someones daughter or son or mother or father. In the case of a celebrity we are fortunate to have some memorabilia, a song, a movie and we can still remember them the way we always loved them.

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Me & my Mother circa 1978 -- RIP Rosalind Towers 1955-2008

But after so much time has passed most people who aren’t directly related in some way to the deceased, sort of stop mentioning them. In some cases, even the people directly related don’t really talk about the person after time has passed. Yet all the people closley related or not still feel the void from the absence of that person. Some feel it more deeply than others.

Some believe when you say the deceased persons name aloud you are, in a way, calling up their presence. I speak my mother’s name aloud all the time in general conversation. I have no problem re-calling something she did or something that reminds me of her. It helps me remember her.

Maybe there are cultures out there where it is forbidden to speak about the dead…not sure about that. In my experience it sort of seems like the people around me, ie; friends, family, etc. are forbidden to talk about my mother’s death or even to mention her in general. It’s a touchy subject for them, I guess. For me, it’s not. It happened! Is it painful? Hell yes! But it’s still reality. Even if I don’t talk about it, or even mention her name, it still cannot erase the depth of pain I feel over the loss of my mother. I will never be the same but I don’t mind talking about it. I want to hear her name mentioned by anyone. I want to reminisce about good times.

Time is passing and it’s getting further away from the time when my mother was here. Further from the date of her death. But her memory is never far from my heart. I don’t know if time will totally heal the wound, I think with time you become better equipped to deal with the death of your loved one. As time passes, you truly realize that death is a part of life.

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